Secrets
by Shanblue
Summary: Kuroo and Kenma grew up extremely close, and Kuroo was positive that no secrets were being kept between them. So when he found out about Kenma's struggles that he had to deal with by himself all through elementary and middle school, Kuroo didn't know how to react. Rated T for language, situations Warning: Depression, bullying, attempted suicide, self hate, be careful reading!
1. Chapter 1 Prologue

**Update 4/3/15 : Quick note that in this story Kuroo and Kenma are the same age and there won't be much mention of other team members. The story does take place at Nekoma and they play volleyball but besides that you could think of this as an AU. Just don't want any confusion. :)**

Neither of them knew how their friendship started. Living near each other definitely helped. But their friendship was unbreakable, and outside of school it was rare to find them separated. Kenma was shy, to say the least. Kuroo often found it odd how quiet he was, so different from his own outgoing personality, but they melded together perfectly. Kenma loved to listen to Kuroo talk whilst staring at his little DS and nodding every once in a while to show he was listening. Kuroo didn't mind Kenma's quietness, either. He thought it was easier to hang out with Kenma than all those annoying kids at school who didn't know when to shut up.

Every day after school, they would meet at the small bridge a few minutes from their houses and greet each other with a smile. Kuroo always had to run straight from school to not make Kenma wait, as Kenma's school ended earlier and was closer to home. Kenma didn't seem to mind waiting but it bothered Kuroo to cause Kenma trouble. So he tried to avoid it at all costs.

Unlike many kids their age, they never fought. Their personalities were so in harmony that it was rare for them to clash. Aside from occasional unimportant bickering, they had a kind and conflict free relationship.

Once Kuroo had teased Kenma about his small stature, mainly to see his reaction, and been startled when the smaller boy stormed away without a word, eyes filled with hurt. It had taken weeks for their relationship to be as comfortable as it was previously, but they pulled through. Kuroo knew from then on not to make Kenma self-conscious about anything from his body to personality. Once in middle school, Kenma dyed his hair blonde for the first time and seemed a little embarrassed to reveal it to Kuroo. Kuroo told him it looked great. He never pointed out to Kenma when he waited too long before redying. He thought to himself that it seemed to be the opposite of his personality but he never told Kenma so; he didn't want to make him feel bad about it.

It was around that time that Kuroo had convinced Kenma to start playing volleyball. It started out as just an activity in Kuroo's backyard to pass the time and escalated to something they both looked forward to after school. Neither of them were very good at it at first, but with Kuroo's athleticism and Kenma's intellect, they soon found themselves wanting to play on a team. Kenma didn't seem quite as interested in it, but never objected when Kuroo wanted to play it, and that in Kuroo's mind was the same thing as him liking it.

Towards the end of middle school, their parents started talking to them about our futures. They both knew they wanted to play volleyball together in highschool, and when they talked together one night they decided to go to Nekoma together. Kenma actually flashed a small smile at the prospect of school together and Kuroo nearly spat out the drink he was sipping on. Their parents were happy to hear that they were being decisive about their futures and easily agreed to their school choices.

That summer went by so quickly, and with each day closer to highschool, Kuroo grew increasingly excited. Kenma seemed on edge the last few weeks of summer, but Kuroo never let it bother him too much, knowing that it was probably just Kenma's way of showing excitement, too.

The first day of school Kuroo met Kenma in front of his house, his heart pulsing fast in excitement. Kenma stepped out the front door, looking slightly pale and apprehensive, but nodded his head to Kuroo in greeting. The taller boy grinned at their matching uniforms and they fell into pace next to each other, walking quickly. They stepped onto the subway and they both looked at each other for a second before Kenma's eyes slid down to his feet. He stuck his hand in his pocket and looked alarmed for a second before his expression smoothed over and he stared ahead blankly.

"What's wrong?" Kuroo asked, worried.

Kenma shook his head, "I forgot my phone."

Kuroo nodded and his eyes wandered around the subway, seeing several kids wearing their uniform. The people he would be going to school with for the remainder of school. Some of them stared at walls while others seemed to eyeing the other students as Kuroo was. One kid in particular, a chubby tall boy, seemed to be peering at Kenma with a smile. A nasty smile. Kuroo glanced down at Kenma and he looked uncomfortable, desperate to not meet the other boy's gaze. Kuroo looked back up to the stranger and at eye contact with Kuroo, the kid's leering stopped and was redirected at the ground, his cheeks heating slightly.

Kuroo thought nothing of it. He should have, though. If only Kuroo knew about what was happening back then, he could have stopped what was to come.

**Hello! I was having a little bit of writers block for my current story so I am writing this on the side now. This chapter was inspired by Wherever You Will Go by The Calling. I can assure you this has a happy ending, don't worry :). Please review, I would love to hear some feedback. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Hell o there. Here is the second chapter, I hope you enjoy :)**

**Update 4/3/15 : I have fixed some problems and grammar mistakes. **

The first few weeks of school went by rather quickly, and soon the excitement was gone, replaced by boredom. The only thing keeping Kuroo from walking out of school and never returning was volleyball. Every day after school Kenma and Kuroo would rush to practice, joining their teammates eagerly.

It surprised Kuroo how quiet Kenma really was. He had always been the shy type but it never struck him just how shy he was until he went to school with him. He was a lot more comfortable around Kuroo than he was around any other kid, it seemed. He had trouble making eye contact and kept to himself. Even with the volleyball team, if Kenma needed something he waited until Kuroo asked what was wrong until he spoke up. It was surprising to Kuroo, but he didn't worry about it too much. He had always been shy, he was just a bit shyer than expected.

Kuroo turned the corner in the school, lunchbox in hand. It was lunch time and as usual he was meeting Kenma to eat on the roof. He wasn't sure if the roof was off limits but nobody ever bothered to check for kids up there so they didn't worry about it too much. It was nice and quiet up there, a slight breeze, and Kuroo knew that it was more relaxing for Kenma to eat without the noisy chatter of classmates in the background.

Kenma walked out of his classroom and greeted him with a nod, and when they reached the roof he plopped down against the wall, leaning back with a tired sigh. Kuroo sat down across from his, eagerly opening his lunchbox. Halfway through his lunch, he realized that once again, Kenma wasn't eating. It was not uncommon for Kenma to lend half of his lunch to Kuroo, and some days for him to not eat anything at all. It worried Kuroo a bit, but he never said anything, worried it would make Kenma insecure like years ago.

"Are you going to eat that?" Kuroo asked through a mouthful of bread, phrasing his question carefully.

Kenma met his eyes with a blank stare, and Kuroo knew he was calculating as always. Finally, he shook his head and pushed his lunch over to the taller boy. Kuroo normally would take the lunch with no hesitation, but it bothered him how much the other boy skipped lunch recently. His stomach clenched, and he pushed the lunch back towards the blonde.

"Why are you never hungry?" it was hard for him to ask; he knew the risks involved.

Kenma once again stared blankly up at Kuroo, searching for the correct answer. He shrugged and dropped his gaze to his lap.

"You're not going to have enough energy for practice today," Kuroo nagged.

With a roll of his eyes, Kenma's delicate fingers unwrapped the tie around his lunch and picked up his utensils. He scrutinized the food for a few moments before forcing himself to pick up a small piece of chicken and place it in his mouth. He chewed slowly, and swallowed the food down with an unpleasant look on his face. He pushed the lunchbox back towards Kuroo after taking a chug of water and Kuroo glared at him.

He was torn; his stomach welcomed the food but Kenma could not possibly be full. After his stomach growled again, he grabbed the box from Kenma, feeling slightly guilty as he shoveled down the other boy's lunch.

When they were done they walked down to their next class. Kuroo had made a small circle of close friends including Kenma, but Kenma never spoke to the others. They sat huddled around in the corner of the classroom laughing and gossiping, when somebodies attention turned to Kenma.

"How come you never talk?" it was a casual, innocent question, but the group glared in unison at the person who asked the question, accompanied by Kenma's entire body stiffening. By now the group knew that the small boy was shy, and knew better than to ask embarrassing questions like that. Obviously this person was a little slow about that.

Kuroo was about to answer for Kenma but his quiet voice cut him off, "I just don't have anything interesting to add to this conversation. Sorry if I offended you," Kuroo grins at the sarcasm in his flat tone that the others don't seem to pick up on. He chuckled and the groups glaring faded quickly, returning to their conversation. When the bell rang, Kenma seemed relieved to scurry back to his seat, grabbing his backpack and nearly throwing himself into his chair on the other side of the room.

Kuroo sat behind him, and he followed, slower, saying goodbye to his friends before strolling across the classroom to his desk. He tapped Kenma's shoulder and the boy tensed for a second before turning around.

"What."

Kuroo was surprised at the anger in his tone, but responded smoothly, "We hanging out after school today?" Kenma visibly relaxed at his words and nodded slowly, before returning his attention to the chalkboard.

When the bell finally rang to end class, a mass of body's pushed the two boys out the door and Kuroo grabbed onto Kenma's backpack, chuckling at his overwhelmed expression as he dragged him in the direction of the gym. After they emerged from the stampede, Kuroo let go of Kenma's strap and the two fell side by side, walking quickly.

"We're having a practice match soon, I heard," Kuroo commented, filling up the silence. Silence between them was comfortable, but today he felt that Kenma was tense.

The blonde's only response was a small grunt.

The taller boy tried again, "What did the coach say we were doing today?"

Kenma shrugged his shoulders and pulled out his phone, scrolling with his thumb absentmindedly. Kuroo gave up on a conversation after that.

When they arrived at the gym, the team crowded around the coach for a short talk before they ran in together in a clump towards the changing room. Kenma lingered in gym, and Kuroo said nothing, assuming he left his clothes out there. He continued to look at the door through his peripherals, but Kenma never came in, even after the last boy exited. With a sigh Kuroo pushed himself off the metal bench and left the room, searching the gym for his friend. His brow creased when he saw Kenma sitting on a bench, already changed, tapping on his phone with concentration.

"Oi, Kenma. Where did you change?" Kenma abandoned his phone and looked up at the black haired boy, stiffening slightly.

Despite tensing, his voice was lazy and calm as always, "The bathroom." he looked back at his phone, and Kuroo almost swore he saw Kenma's brow twitch when he spoke again.

"Why didn't you change in the locker room?" he was genuinely confused, a tad curious.

Kenma switched off his phone and shoved it in his bag, standing up to brush off his pants. "It was closer, I suppose." Kuroo did not miss the avoided eye contact.

Kuroo was not convinced but he said nothing, after all they were here for practice, not an interrogation.

After practice Kenma dragged behind the rest of the team when it was time to change. Kuroo caught him change in record speed, facing the corner with his hair hanging over his eyes. When Kuroo finished changing too, he grabbed at Kenma's shoulder and the boy looked up at him with bored eyes.

"Ready to go?" Kuroo smiled at him and Kenma nodded, looking at his feet. He picked up his backpack from the bench and they walked side by side out the school building.

Kuroo knew something was off with Kenma today, but the walk home was peaceful and uneventful. By the time they reached Kenma's home, Kuroo had all but forgotten his odd behavior at school. He played on his phone, and when they stepped inside he shuffled out of his shoes without breaking eye contact with the phone. Kuroo talked a bit to him, but there was a comfortable silence. They sat on Kenma's bed that was shoved in the corner, Kenma biting his lip leaned up against the corner while Kuroo was splayed out on his stomach working on homework.

Dinner with Kenma's parents was not an unusual thing, and he could always make friendly conversation with them. Today was no different, but he couldn't help but notice the sidelong glances that the parents kept shooting the blonde. Kenma didn't seem to notice, and if he did he was not letting it on. Kuroo managed to ignore it though. He assumed that they had a fight or something and everything wasn't resolved yet. It wouldn't be the first time, after all. After dinner Kenma quickly pulled him back to the shorter boy's room, and two player video games began. As he became more concentrated on the screen, he slowly forgot about the oddities in the Kenma household. The boys fell asleep next to each other after hours of games and everything seemed perfectly happy.

**Thanks for reading! If you have any requests for scenes you would like me to add in, I would love to hear it, and feel free to leave any critiques or questions, which I definitely answer. See you guys next chapter!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay I've said it before but I'll say it again. This is a very triggering chapter so PLEASE be careful about reading it. **

The street was a little damp from from that morning's rain, and droplets of water splashed up on Kuroo's legs as he plodded up the hill. Detention had been long and boring, but the whoopee cushion under the teacher's chair cushion was still worth it in his opinion. He wouldn't take that back for any punishment. While he usually would walk home with Kenma, Kenma had refused to take any part of the blame for Kuroo's prank, leaving him to fend for himself when the teacher called him to stay after class

.

Kuroo sighed in resignation. It was his own fault, he supposed. The sun was beginning to dip low on the horizon, splattering pink and orange hues across the sky. The color reminded him of quiet evenings laying in the backyard with Kenma, volleyball laying forgotten across the yard. Wind rustling through the grass and tickling their skin. Sips of lukewarm lemonade and innocent laughter.

A drop of water darkened Kuroo's sleeve and he peered up towards the weeping clouds in the sky, sighing as he quickened his pace. His sore muscles cried in protest but he ignored them, heavy footsteps sloshing on muddy patches running into the road. The rain began to pick up, and Kuroo's shirt was soon plastered to his body. His mind was moving at a slug's pace, mulling over tonight's homework that he wouldn't do, volleyball techniques that he thought the team needed to practice again, and miniscule details and conversations from his day. He walked in a daze, not focusing much on one thing, but then a small noise caught his attention. A tiny, high pitched sound, almost like a whimper coming from the little bridge he and Kenma always met at.

He was immediately cautious, but couldn't help but creep forward to investigate; it was in his nature. It was almost completely dark now, shadows casting down onto his surroundings, and as he crept forward, he had to squint to make out the faint form of a thin body stumbling down the path. He was starting to regret sticking his nose where it shouldn't belong now. The silhouettes arms stretched out, clutching to the edge of the bridge and hunching over, shoulders shaking.

At this point Kuroo was almost 100% sure this person was on drugs, and not wanting to witness someone fall to their death, he sprinted the remainder of the distance to pry the figure away from the fence. Before he could reach out to the thin arms, they let go of the rail and the person leaned all their body weight over the edge, letting gravity do the work as they slowly tipped. Before the body fell, Kuroo grabbed the back of the person's collar, roughly hauling them over the rail and slamming them to the ground. His breath huffed quickly, in and out, eyes wide with shock. _He almost saw someone kill themself. _

He directed his attention to the body, and at the sight of yellow, cat-like eyes dazedly searching the sky, his heart nearly stopped.

"What the hell, Kenma? What were you doing!?" his voice was rough and grainy from fear.

The eyes finally focused on Kuroo's face, and he saw them almost imperceptibly widen before lifting up to the sky again, staring at nothing. A small, pale hand reached up, wiping sweat and tears from the clammy, flushed face, and Kenma let out a small breath of air.

"What were you trying to do?" Kuroo cried again, realization setting in. _Kenma just tried to kill himself._

"I was trying to go to sleep," Kenma replied in a voice no louder than a whisper.

He pulled Kenma into a sitting position by his armpits and the empty boy sagged into Kuroo's palms, letting the older boy hold up all his weight.

"What are you talking about? You just tried to kill yourself!" his voice drowned out the patter of the rain on the trees, seeming to echo on the eerily empty path.

Kenma blinked lazily up at him, a ghost of a smirk on his face, "That's your perspective, not mine," his voice was so indifferent; so unaffected by Kuroo's hysteria that the taller boy couldn't help the way his fingers tightened around him, most likely bruising the pale skin. Kenma didn't let on that he was feeling pain, his expression dead.

But at the sight of Kuroo's anger, Kenma dropped his head, even just slightly, and his shoulder sagged even further. His eyes were so empty; so devoid of the life and light that Kuroo remembered vividly from their childhood.

"Why did you... did you try to... why?" his voice broke.

His eyes didn't raise up to Kuroo's, he only stared in his lap, biting his lip like he was contemplating.

"C'mon, Kenma. I want to be here for you. You shouldn't have to resort to... to this..." he stumbled over his words, overcome with emotion.

Kenma slowly leaned backward onto his palms, relieving Kuroo of the burden of his weight, and the blonde took a deep breath before speaking, "I hate this place. I wanted out," he smiled bitterly, "I always have, but I've pushed it back. It got the best of me today,"

Kuroo shook his head, eyes drooping in grief, "What made you like this, Kenma?" he noted that the setter stiffened immediately at his words, but that only led him to be more demanding in his questions.

Seeing that stubborn look in his startled, sad eyes, Kenma took in a shaky breath, dropping his head, "Some of it was Middle School. But even before that, I have always hated myself. I never liked being me. I'm gross. I'm scrawny, I don't have a personality, and I don't blame people for not wanting to hang out with me. I can't even talk to people without stuttering." his voice grew increasingly strong as he spoke.

"You can speak to me without stuttering!" Kuroo protested, bringing his hands back to his friends shoulders. His eyes widened when Kenma flinched away from the gesture.

"But... but what about Middle School?"

Kenma seemed to shrink under Kuroo's gaze, and his stomach flopped.

"Answer me. What about Middle School?" his voice was cold, threat looming under his words.

The blonde's head only hung lower, but he responded, "I was... a target."

Kuroo's eyes widened even more, if possible, "Please elaborate."

"I didn't have any friends, I never spoke, and I'm ugly, so naturally I was a target for teasing," Kenma took in a shuddering breath- to which Kuroo's heart broke- and brought seemingly emotionless eyes up to his friends. But Kuroo knew him better than that. Beyond those eyes was indescribable pain, looming just behind those dark, calculating pupils. "I mean, it was just teasing at first. Most people just ignored me, which was fine by me." he stopped speaking suddenly, tensing his shoulders. Only a glare from Kuroo prodded him on, "But then a couple guys- ah god, I don't even remember who it was, they've all blurred together to me. Anyway, a couple guys started harassing me... Not everyone joined in, obviously, but enough people joined in that people were afraid to tell teachers. That was halfway through my first year of middle-school, and as you can imagine, it escalated from there..." Kuroo didn't even feel shocked at how much Kenma just spoke. He could only gape as he processed the words laid out before him.

"So you're telling me you've been bullied for the past 3 years?" Kenma visibly flinched at his friend's words.

He shifted uncomfortably, "That's one way of putting it."

The thought flew out of Kuroo's mouth before he realized he spoke it, "Why didn't you tell me?" he couldn't hold back the betrayal laced in his raised voice.

"It isn't something you just TELL people, Kuroo. You don't realize how I embarrassing it is for me to tell you half a year after it's over!" Kuroo halted at Kenma's raised voice. Kenma NEVER raised his voice.

"Look. I'm sorry. I understand how hard it must have been for you to tell me. So thanks." Kuroo's voice lowered, almost soothing.

Kenma gave a small nod.

"Do you want a hug?" Kenma's eyes narrowed at that douchebag grin splayed across Kuroo's face.

The boy contemplated for a moment, before sighing, "I suppose I have to accept."

Kenma was cold in Kuroo's arms, shaking slightly, although not noticeable to the eye. After a moment Kenma brought his arms around his friend's broad back, squeezing tighter. Kuroo pretended not to notice the small, silent tears leaking out of the teen's eyes as Kenma buried his face in the older boy's chest.

Kuroo felt hot breath against his chest along with the movement of lips, and wondered what was happening for a moment before he realized Kenma said something.

"What was that?" Kuroo turned his head to the side to hear the quiet boy easier.

"Thanks... for stopping me. I still feel sick and gross and empty, but maybe I'll try to stick it out here for a little bit longer." the words were blurry and mumbled into the Kuroo's shirt, but he heard every word.

Kuroo rested his head on the top of Kenma's, "Thanks for giving this another try."

A sudden thought caused Kuroo to pull away from his friend, and his friend quickly wiped his face and looked up to meet his eyes.

"You know, before you were saying that you hate yourself, right?" Kenma slowly nodded, eyes trained on his feet, "Well, I don't think you're ugly. I like the way you look," Kuroo twirled a strand of bleached hair in his fingers and a faint blush rose on Kenma's cheeks, "And you're amazing at volleyball and really agile, so isn't it a good thing that you're thin?" a small laugh escaped the smaller boy.

"I guess I never thought of it that way..." Kuroo watched as Kenma examined his thin wrist, taking one of his thumb and forefinger and wrapping it around the wrist with ease, and Kuroo didn't miss the small frown of dissatisfaction that pulled at his lips. Kuroo knocked his hand away, pulling the wrist up to his face. Before he could even process what he was doing, he pressed his lips to the wrist, then repeated the same with the other one, and when he looked back up to Kenma's face, he nearly choked. His cheeks were bright red, staring intently at Kuroo's mouth, and he was biting his lip subconsciously. Kuroo felt a slight blush rise to his face, too, but it paled in comparison to the absolute mortification showing on his friend.

"I guess I'll have to love you enough for the both of us," Kuroo concluded, that shit-eating grin spreading on his face. He pushed himself up, dusting off his behind, before reaching out his hand to help Kenma up. His fingers were cold, shaking slightly, but so were Kuroo's. They gripped each other tight, leading each other down the oh-so-familiar path that led to their houses.

"Let's go home, Kenma"

"Yeah. Let's go home."

**I hope you enjoyed! If you would like announcements and updates, follow me on shanbluefanfiction . tumblr. com and feel free to shoot me an ask. If you have any suggestions or would like to say something, please review! Oh yeah- did you get my little reference there?**


	4. Chapter 4

**So... I got a sudden spurt of enthusiasm towards writing, so I FINALLY got around to writing and editing another chapter of this. We are almost at the end of this story. Wow. Please enjoy, I am rather proud of this chapter ;)**

**I posted this a lot earlier on AO3, don't know why I waited so long to put it on this website. **

"Slow down, you're going to choke," Kenma's monotone voice was a bit louder than usual, giving away his uncharacteristic smirk.

Kuroo gasped around his mouthful of heaven as tears sprung to his eyes. "I can't. It's just too good!" He reached out to hug his slightly amused friend but his arms were batted away.

"You're drooling. Gross."

The taller boy feigned hurt before he swallowed the huge bite of pancake he had taken and dropped the act. "But seriously, Kenma. Those were the best pancakes I have ever eaten. No lie."

Kenma ignored his praise, setting himself to work on the mess of pots and pans and bottles and dishes that were scattered around his parent's kitchen. Kuroo didn't miss the faint pink dusting his cheeks, however, but he decided not to comment on it.

Kuroo had finally convinced Kenma to let him come over in the morning so they could walk the full way to school, and although it would mean Kuroo had to get up earlier, it also meant he got to spend more time with his friend. And that was a fair price to pay, Kuroo reasoned. He hadn't been expecting pancakes to be waiting on the table for him when he arrived though, and he had internally thanked himself for not eating breakfast at home this morning. Although the elder knew that Kenma valued their friendship, he rarely showed it, so even just the thought of him making Kuroo pancakes could have brought him to tears. Not to mention the flavor.

"Seriously. What did you PUT in these things?" he nearly wailed.

A huff of breath escaped the faux-blonde's lips. "I literally just used the powder you can buy at the store and added eggs and milk. There is nothing special about these pancakes," he insisted.

Kuroo got to his feet and padded over to the sink to help Kenma where he was currently perched over the sink scrubbing syrupy dishes. Kuroo could see the profile of his friend's face from this angle; the straight set of his nose, the little line off concentration between his brows, and his long eyelashes that formed curved shadows over his cheeks. It was quite lovely.

Those cat-like eyes shifted up to meet Kuroo's, but he quickly returned his gaze to the sink where pile of dishes looked just as threatening as earlier. "What are you looking at?"

Kuroo fought back a smirk unsuccessfully. "Nothing."

Kenma snorted, shaking his head, but didn't reply.

The gentle hum of water from the tap and the occasional sloshing were the only things to be heard as they worked quickly and diligently. They only had a little time left till school began, after all.

As if reading Kuroo's thoughts, Kenma spoke. "We need to leave or we're going to be late."

"Gotcha."

Kuroo jogged to the other room and picked up both of their backpacks, nearly dropping Kenma's from the surprising amount of weight.

"Hey, what do you put in this thing?!" he called to the other room.

The younger boy soon joined him in the front hall, wiping his hands against his uniform pants unconsciously. "Textbooks. And DS games." Kenma snatched his bag from the taller boy and stalked out the front door after struggling with the stubborn lock for a few moments. It was a little cool outside, enough to raise goosebumps on his clothed arms. He suppressed a shiver as a gust of wind found it's way past the collar of his uniform but didn't retreat back to the warmth of his home.

Kuroo soon followed him outside, joining Kenma's side and adapting to his slightly lumbering pace automatically.

"So..."

Kenma tensed at his tone. He knew this tone.

"Relax! I just wanted to know how you're feeling today."

Kuroo's sharp eyes didn't miss the way Kenma's lips twitched slightly before his mask was reassembled. He nodded slightly. "I'm... okay. Thanks for asking."

His eyes remained fixed on the ground but his shoulders softened slightly and Kuroo knew that his friend was telling the truth.

"Good."

"You have to work in groups of two on this assignment. I'll pair you up individually if you can't find a partner."

Kuroo automatically looked towards Kenma, and his eyes widened when he saw the way his shoulders were hunched slightly and he seemed to cave in on himself.

"Hey. Kenma." Kenma stiffened slightly and turned around to face him. "Let's be partners."

A short pause, and then a sharp nod. "Okay."

It was so simple, yet so odd. Just something little like that felt important. They were partners. They had each other's backs. Lately, Kuroo had been paying closer attention to his shorter friend than ever before. And in doing so he realized that things that used to hold no importance to him took on a new meaning. Every time he proved Kenma's self doubts wrong; every time he knocked down one of his insecurities, it wasn't pity he felt, or even pride. It was something soft and fuzzy, flitting around in his chest and bringing a stutter to his heart. A feeling like comfort, with a spark of something else around the edges. It felt dangerous, but it also felt warm. He liked it. He wanted to feel it more. And every time he saw that ghost of a smile light up Kenma's face, it burned again, brighter than fireworks. It was magical.

After that moment they stuck close for the rest of the day, never touching and yet always feeling eacother's presence. When he saw that Kenma felt uncomfortable with a conversation he was having, he always jumped in, but he also let Kenma have enough independence to drive himself out of those awkward situations. After all, Kuroo wouldn't always be there for him. Kuroo shook his head. He didn't like that thought. He pushed that thought away.

Kenma's agile fingers picked the ball up and Kuroo ran forward, detecting where it would end up in front of him, and slammed his flat hand down. The sound on the other end of the court ricocheted and nearly deafened everbody in the room. That prideful smirk climbed it's way onto Kuroo's face and at the sight of it Kenma rolled his eyes.

"You can't tell me that wasn't amazing," Kuroo jived at his shorter companion.

Kenma's eyes glided to Kuroo's face, looking over his expression, before returning to the ball he held in his hand. "It was not perfect."

Kuroo rolled his eyes at his friend's tone but decided to let his argument go, striding over to ruffle Kenma's hair. The captain yelled out that practice was finished and the two walked with each other towards the locker room. Halfway there they were joined by a noisy teammate. He slung an arm around the blondie's neck and steered him toward the locker room more quickly, leaving Kuroo to follow close behind them.

"I keep telling them, Kenma, I see you playing and you're getting better every day! How are your tosses so perfect?" The setters sharp eyes fixated on the other boy's face, absorbing his tone of voice and facial expression. Kuroo noticed him do that alot when people talked to him. Maybe it was so he could be sure they weren't being sarcastic, or maybe so he could attempt to mimic their mood. Nobody seemed to notice much besides Kuroo himself.

"Thanks. It would be nice to be able to play in a game some time."

Kuroo nearly stopped in his tracks. Never had his friend showed any interest towards excelling in his sport, and most certainly he never had shown interest in playing competitively. All this time Kuroo assumed he had been dragging Kenma along, but now it was apparent that he was not the only one set on improving.

"You definitely will. Kuroo and you together? You guys are a perfect match." The boy left Kenma's side to go to his bag and change, and Kuroo regained his former spot next to him. Kuroo absorbed his teammates words with wide eyes, trying to ignore the way his pulse quickened at the suggestion. He shook his head.

Kuroo watched as his friend leaned over, hair in his face and rifling through his sports bag, and reached out a finger to poke his shoulder. His head tilted almost imperceptibly and those sharp golden eyes narrowed. "What?" It took Kuroo a minute to register that there was a faint blush on his friend's face, too.

"Did you hear that? We're a perfect match, you and I."

Kenma's blush deepened, and he straightened up with tense shoulders. "No need to repeat it. I heard what he said loud and clear." He cleared his throat before returning to choosing clothes.

"Yep." Kuroo couldn't think of anything else to say, so he simply left it at that, turning to his own bag to freshen up.

"Ready to go home?" A few moment later Kuroo looked up to see his friend standing above him, bag slung over his shoulder and his posture relaxed.

With a grin, "Always."

**I don't know, I liked it... did you? Let me know in the reviews ;;;;DDDD**

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**[delete the spaces]**


	5. Chapter 5

**I was going to release this chapter late tonight, but I'm trying to ignore my anxiety and in doing so I had to keep myself busy. So you can thank my social anxiety for this early release, I suppose.**

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"How are you today, anyway?" Kuroo asked, watching as Kenma pushed a strand of bleached hair from his eyes.

A faint smile grew on Kenma's face at the question, and he dipped his head toward his taller friend. "I'm doing good, today."

"I can tell," Kuroo said. And it was true. Kenma had been practically glowing, these past few days. There had been good and bad days since Kenma had spilled his secrets to him, but it seemed the best days were upon him. He hadn't seen Kenma so outgoing since they were little kids, and the mere thought gave him a bout of nostalgia. "Hey, wanna go get an ice cream?"

They had been lying in Kenma's bed since school had been let out, with Kuroo staring at the wall and Kenma practically on top of him messing around on his phone. And as much as he enjoyed spending quiet time with his friend, there was a limit to how entertaining the wall could be. Plus Kuroo was starting to get a bit hungry.

Kenma pushed himself up onto his elbows with a grunt, locking his phone and glancing up to the orange clock on the wall. "I guess so... Got nothing better to do."

Kuroo waited for Kema to hoist himself up off of him before he followed and stared at his reflection in the mirror across from Kenma's bed for a moment. He couldn't see any change, despite Kenma's drastic one. He wasn't quite sure how he felt about that. While he was happy that Kenma was getting better, it made Kuroo feel like he wasn't doing enough for himself. He couldn't list a single thing about himself that he had improved over the past year. Sometimes he felt his accomplishments paled in comparison to his friends. He tried to ignore that voice in head, though, because he knew the last thing Kenma needed was someone pushing their problems on him when he was desperately trying to fix his own.

"C'mon, let's go." Kenma stepped through his door without waiting for Kuroo and the black haired male quickly followed behind him. They walked through the halls and out the front door after Kenma yelled the announcement of his departure to his parents.

They ambled slowly down the sidewalk, making comments every now and then to fill up the comfortable silence between them. Although there were quite a few people outside walking their dogs or jogging, it was rather quiet outside, and for the most part only the occasional chirp of a bird or croak of a frog disrupted that. Kenma was occupying himself kicking a stone as he walked, watching it ricochete for a few seconds before falling to a halt metres ahead. Kuroo was just starting to become entranced in the repetitive motions, when a voice brought them both to a halt.

"Holy shit." Kuroo's head whipped up to meet the eyes of an average looking guy with close-cropped hair, who was accompanied by two other similar looking boys who were looking at the faux blonde with odd gleams to their eyes. The boy quickly looked away from Kuroo, though, his gaze focusing intently on Kenma, who Kuroo noted was staring hard at the ground. "Is that Kenma?"

Kenma's hands formed shaking fists, but he slowly brought his face up to the group in front of him.

"Who are you guys?" Kuroo couldn't keep himself from asking, taking a step forward to shield his friend from their malicious gazes.

One of them snorted, an odd grin on his face. "None of your damn business, fuckhead."

Kuroo didn't flinch, merely raised an eyebrow at his poor insult. He was about to retort when a cold hand wrapped around his arm and firmly pulled him back. Kenma. Kenma looked at him with pleading eyes that Kuroo could read immediately. Kenma wanted him to stay back. He decided to listen and stepped back, relenting for now.

"Is that your boyfriend, you fag?" The one in the middle taunted Kenma, and immediately Kuroo hardened. Everything; every muscle in his body went taut, and his face, he was sure, radiated hatred.

"What di-" Kenma cut him off with a loud 'shhh'.

"I don't see why that's any of your business, Daiki." Kenma finally said, his voice quivering a little. Kuroo could see the way his shoulders were raised and his face was slightly downturned despite the eye contact he was giving his opponents. He was uncomfortable, maybe even scared. Obviously his tormentors couldn't see that, though, for at his words one of them took a step back.

The others didn't seem affected, though. "What? We leave you alone for a year and you think you have the right to talk back to us? Shut the fuck up, you nerd!" One of them cackled and Kenma's head lowered a bit more.

Kuroo finally decided to fight back again, despite Kenma's wishes. "What the hell is wrong with you guys? You're disgusting! You're absolutely pathetic!" Kuroo itched to do something else besides hurl petty insults at them. He wanted to slam his fist into their faces, feel that crunch of bone underneath his fists. But he couldn't do that. It would do more harm than good.

"We don't really give a shit about you, big guy. We were talking to Kenma over here. It's really none of your damn business." One of them snickered, and only the light feeling of Kenma's hand grabbing the back of his shirt stopped him from slamming the guy into the nearest building and giving him a piece of his mind.

Kenma's cold voice distracted them all from their anger and taunting. "It's really too bad I don't give a shit about you guys. Let's go, Kuroo, talking to them is only making me stupider."

Despite the braveness of his words, he could fear the tremble in Kenma's fingertips and he could see the tension and trembling in his back as he pulled Kuroo away from the scene.

They walked quickly together until they reached the next block before Kenma dropped his shaking hand from Kuroo's shirt. "Sorry about that..." Kenma mumbled.

"You have no reason to be sorry. Are those the guys who used to bully you?" Kuroo thought it was pretty obvious, but he wanted to make sure there were no misunderstandings between them.

"Yeah... there were a few more but those were the main ones..." Kenma's voice was soft and he didn't meet Kuroo's eyes.

Kuroo huffed out a soft breath and looked back behind him for a moment before he straightened himself up. "Well... the ice cream shop should be closing soon, so we better hurry up and go."

Kenma bit his lip and nodded toward the ground. Before he could even think about what he was doing, Kuroo grabbed Kenma's sweaty, cold hand and intertwined their fingers. Despite how clammy his hands were, they were surprisingly soft, and Kuroo liked it. He pulled Kenma forward for a few steps before they matched paces, and Kenma shook his hair out of his face to glance at Kuroo.

Kuroo's heart nearly stopped at the sight of a light blush dusted across Kenma's nose and cheeks, and he felt his own face heat up in response.

"You're amazing... You know that, Kenma?" Kuroo voiced his thoughts out loud.

Kenma squeezed his hand against Kuroo's as his tiny smile widened at his friend's words. "I know."

Kuroo rolled his eyes but his grip didn't loosen on Kenma's small hand, and he used his free hand to open the door to the ice cream shop, which announced their intrusion with a loud, merry jingle.

As he watched Kenma fumble at his lower lip with his teeth mulling over the ice cream flavors and saw the tight muscles in his friends back loosen slowly, only one thought could be heard in Kuroo's usually jumbled up head.

I love you.

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**Wow... this story is done. It sure did take me a while and I'm sure it was pretty annoying for readers to keep up with, but I really did enjoy writing this. Some parts were extremely difficult to write, especially in this chapter, but I did it, and I can finally share it with you guys. Thanks to everybody who stuck with me till the end, and thanks for dealing with my growth as a writer. I'm hoping that I will keep improving with time till I get to a point where readers don't have to deal with awkward choppy paragraphs and awkwardly phrased sentences. But until then, you'll have to bear with me. **

**So. This is officially my first completed fanfiction. Wow. **

**If anybody has any suggestions or requests for stories they would like to see me write in the future, feel free to leave them in my ask box on tumblr or in the comments below. I appreciate feedback of any type, so don't hesitate to comment if you had anything you want to say (Even if you want to complain about the terrible ending, I'm all ears).**

**Visit my tumblr for announcements of new stories and updates. (in case the link doesn't work, it's shanbluefanfiction . tumblr . com) **


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